I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
