i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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