We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
