how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
soo... how was my night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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