Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
