so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
