my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Can I color on your dick again?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
