I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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