somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
