Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
