she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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