at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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