More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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