No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
