The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
