i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
