Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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