Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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