I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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