A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
