You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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