my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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