I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
