oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
