and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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