dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
