Define "chronic" masturbator.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
