How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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