u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize