when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
