drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
