Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
