South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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