Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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