one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
