i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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