i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
