I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
