i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize