Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
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So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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