Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
