trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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