so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
