I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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