i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
