If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
