Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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