yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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