I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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