somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
