What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
