I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
