i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
