puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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