can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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