I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
