It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
